Nineteen, Twenty and Beyond

This time, I let the out pour take over my writing.

What does a lady who just turned 20 want to express?

On Gratitude

Perhaps I express gratitude to Facebook because even if we say that people who actually remember our birthdays without it are the sweetest,we can't deny the fact that people who take time to post on our timelines or send us messages because of a reminder that it's our birthday are also sweet. And of course, I am most thankful to all those people who did. <3

So why am I thanking Facebook again? Because it has made reaching out to each other so accessible to the point that one celebrant like me can be overwhelmed and touched by people's numerous greetings.


On a Normal day

Yesterday, I was in between happy and okay. I was not the happiest but neither was I the saddest. I spent my birthday with a normal day, with my normal routines. I have even forgotten to eat my breakfast and I ate Anne's best birthday cake in the world (with one or two Makis) as my lunch. I prepared for and actually executed a teaching demo in church last night and arrived home past 9 pm when everyone but me has eaten dinner. Wohoo! What a great birthday celebration! Haha!

But I arrived at home with the cute little boy greeting me the very moment I entered our house. And he actually blew my candle for me. I also had an unexpected "mini-handaan" with my family and I just didn't expect that.

About gifts

Material gifts? I received none. Not even one except the picture greetings which I received from my Sunday School family last Sunday. But I honestly did not seek for any. For greetings (since words of affirmation is my love language) were enough or more than enough and I can never feel even more content in the life that I have now.

In Looking Back

My 19th year has been a tough roller-coaster ride. I had numerous blissful-happiest and heart-breaking-shattering moments. There were days I was way up high on cloud nine, days when I felt like the most beautiful lady on Earth or the most loved creature in the entire universe. But there were even more times (longer, actually) when I felt lower than my lowest and uglier than whoever or whatever could be ugliest.

True. That's how it looks like when I look back. But the latter days of my 19th year when I crawl to get on with life and move along despite the circumstances are the days that brought me back to the life He has set out for me. Times at my lowest and my feelings of being the ugliest are ironically what lifted me and instilled again the beauty I seemed to have lost.

These days before I turn twenty are the highlights of His grace and steadfast love compelling me to move forward, even through one step a day, despite the current of yesterday pulling and weighing me down.

The Promise

Every detail of my 19 years of living, He has perfectly willed and planned. And yesterday morning when I talked to Him, he reminded me of how He is there, beyond my 20th year, and He has prepared a work for me, the man He has for me and more than ever a grandiose life plan I can never imagine for myself today.

To My Mami

They say that we get to have our 2^nd mothers in school and they are our teachers. I say, I also got my 3^rd and almost-real mother in College. But she’s not a professor or just a mother to me. She’s actually a best friend, an older sister (sometimes my twin or even younger: D), an adviser, and a sister-in-Christ. She has multiple roles in my life that to sum it up, she’s an important person, one of the closest in my heart.

                Today is her birthday. I’m not particular with her age, but I’d say she’s not growing any older. Her advanced years of wisdom and experience never hindered her from relating to us: the less experienced.

                Since she was born on the 18^th of April, I’d give 18 messages for the lover of words herself. (In a stream-of-consciousness order :D) I do hope to get an extra allowance for this :D

To my (almost-real) Mami,

1.       God sent you to complete the mother-daughter relationship I never fully had. Your concern and presence always made me feel that I am a loved daughter.

2.       We, the royal family, are blessed to have the “pretty genes” that run in our bloodline and in our chromosomes because of you! :D

3.       Speaking of pretty, you do look pretty in your new hair-do J

4.       Our favorite haven (NBS) and your favorite spot (near the shelf of classic books) would always hold my favorite memories of mother-daughter crazy, fun and “intellectual” times.

5.       McDo: I will always love this FASTfood chain because ironically, we always had our LONGEST “brain-twisting” talks here.

6.       Mami, we’ll solve the “us problem” of the world right? Can’t wait to continue our shared diary! :D

7.       The best thing about our mother-daughter relationship is that though it may not be real-life, it’s the ideal J

8.       Mami, I’m trying to be impulsive here (I’m in a computer shop) but I think it’s definitely hard. As hard as you trying to determine whether you’re reflective or impulsive. :D

9.       Probably when I was born I had a part of your brain and a piece of your heart, that’s why we often think and feel the same.

10.   You are the best mirror I can look into J

11.   Today, I prohibit you to frown and be “emo”!

12.   I am looking forward to another overnight in your house, wherein we could watch a movie while I’m battling against sleepiness. We could watch A Crazy Little Thing Called Love and I’ll cry over again.

                             

13.   Jane Eyre has bound us together: in our dear admiration for Charlotte’s great novel and for our UNFORGETTABLE NOVEL REPORT in English Literature. I surely owe our beautiful presentation to your nocturnal and artistic skills. And I also thank you for understanding your sleepy-head daughter! J

14.   Writing, aside from thinking, is another thing we enjoy in common. I want to read your new write-ups Mami. I also pray we’ll write a book together based on the lessons (recently on paradigm shift) that we’ll glean from our shared diary.

15.   I pray that your love life will not continue to wait. I know that we (your daughters) have our pseudo-daddies but I really pray a real one and the best partner for you J Of course, if one of our pseudo-daddies is the one, I pray that lightning (God, in this matter) shall strike him to make him realize he doesn’t need to look far. :D

16.   I know that you’re my Mami who loves collecting (superior to reading) books and I love the way you really invest your money in them!

17.   We are the slow-readers with deep comprehension, field-dependent with deep concentration and these prove the “Like mother, like daughter” cliché.

18.   I intentionally did not greet you through a text message (aside from the fact that I rarely have a load :D) and I want to greet you here. HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY, BLESSED BIRTHDAY MAMI! I love You!

P.S.

                I pray that these words are enough to let you love me more so that like my sisters, you’ll buy me a new phone. Haha! Smile Mami! :*

                

                                      

Married @ 18

On my "netbook clock" it's 4 minutes before my 18th birthday officially ends.

I'm too excited to blog for the first time using this netbook to keep this until tomorrow but at the same time I'm really too sleepy to make a long narrative.

In brevity, the way I've spend my 18th birthday is a special usual day. I did the usual thing- go to church and see people like it's an ordinary Sunday. Nothing so extraordinary since I even didn't have  a "blowout". 

Who made this day very special are the people who gave me their warmest greetings and made their own little way of making me feel like a princess.

But one thing that I can't get off my mind is the weird thing I should have considered unusual using my 16 year old, old self perspective- I'm not married @ 18.

I'm not sure if I delivered that one clear. Marrying when I turn 18 was my plan when I was 16! Haha. Laugh all you can 'cause I already had my share of laughter at the thought of my past!

I'm just too blessed that God had never let go of me especially during that stray, crazy days of mine. The Lord's steadfast love has carried me through every new year of my life. And from my turning point at age 16 up til now that I'm 18, He has planted in my heart His dreams for me that are far greater and grander than the unthinking illusion of being married at 18.:)