All Because of Him We Are More

I happen to have found the closing remarks I made for IV-HC's farewell party inserted in one of my journals.

They're obviously haphazardly written on pieces of scratch papers which I remember writing the morning before our program in a 7eleven store.

And because I miss my classmates, I am excited to blog again and I seek a better place for that piece, let me post it here.

My forever-favorite pioneer Honors Class picture

This closing remarks is lame.

It is competent

senseless

inadequate.

It is useless,

pointless

in every way.

You could think of fancier words from your English major vocabulary more than lame, incompetent, senseless, and inadequate.

But still, this remains useless, pointless in every way.

I could have started this off with the most inspiring congratulatory poem you haven't heard of, or the most moving farewell quotation I could write, but then

This

would still remain useless, pointless

in every single way.

Because how can a five-minute speech (or longer) bring you back to that moment when you entered the room and realized that you are part of the Honors' class and make you see how you fought and strove hard all those 3 years. And you, yes you. After all those 3 years, succeeded. Not just from a regular class nor from a random majorship. You have succeeded as a IV-HC English major.

Because how can a five-minute speech mark the ending of the 3 years we've spent as a a class, as students, actors, play producers, grammar nazis, OP writers, reporters, debaters, leaders, groupmates, workaholics, nocturnals, zombies, friends, brothers, sisters - the 3 years we spent as a family. How can this piece embody all those good and bad, happy and sad, exciting and dull - yet all beautiful memories that we shared?

Because how can a five-minute speech affirm how each and everyone of us has done more than our best, has performed more than what was expected of us and has lived up to our own exceptional standard of what an Honors class is.

Because how can this five-minute speech allow me to tell you fully how thankful I am to be part of this class, to be part of your lives.

Because how can this five-minute speech ever be enough to depict how brilliant and great God is to handpick 20 superb individuals, combine us in one class, get us through the thick and thin of college life, cut us out a little, push us a bit more, then lift us up and let us flourish in greatness in a way we never imagined we could.

This piece would never be enough.

Any piece would not be enough.

You gotta tap that person beside you,

because he/she

is never the lame

incompetent

senseless

inadequate

that this useless and pointless closing remarks can box in every single way.

Our memories are far more than what words could describe or relive.

Our achievements are far more than what honors could give.

We, Honors Class, are more.

And all because of Him, we are.

The randomness of today

1.) People who are difficult to wake up should have private alarms. Or everyone else may be awake and they remain in a state of coma. I was part of “everyone else” today.

2.) I was brought to a place I’ve never been to: in Marikina. But it brought back realizations I’ve thought of before.

3.) Pains and headaches of yesterday can turn out to be blessings of today.

4.) How things went well today make you laugh at how pointless your worries were yesterday.

5.) You are capable of being ready even if you were not really ready beforehand.

6.) Unless you do something, you won’t be able to know that you can do it.

7.) Skills and can’s flourish if you work and think positively under pressure.

8.) It’s awesome to work with people who can think both like and unlike you.

9.) Love is independency.

10.) People skills are learned and enhanced.

11.) The best way to assess your action or decision is to foresee its implications in the future and not the immediate benefit you’ll get from it now.

12.) Betty Go Belmonte- name of a person, the founder of Philippine star.

13.) Love will not complete you. You need to be “complete” to fully love.

14.) When people have the same line of thinking they do well at laughing at each others' jokes and in keeping conversations endless.

15.) Spontaneity is really not my thing. It is taking forever for me to think of and write these.

16.) Happy is when meal time becomes laughter and story time with friends.

17.) When one teaches, he brings learning to another and mastery to himself.

18.) Passion in doing something rekindles when you teach it.

19.) My future students inspire me again to study well today.

20.) When we want to do so much and be all that, we have to remind ourselves of what’s utmost important.

21.) Change starts in small steps, big hopes and growing dedication.

22.) Teachers are among the most talented and amazing people on planet earth.

23.) The result of governance does not solely rely on the choices of voters but also on the actions of elected politicians.

24.) Growth of self is key factor to being able to aid another’s growth.

25.) I miss my students in Makati High School and the whole practice teaching experience.

26.) I am running out of things to enumerate here when I thought of so many things today.

27.) You deserve a tap on the back for all that you’ve accomplished today.

28.) Missing people is natural. It can place you in a difficult position but what you do rationally despite the feeling can make it bearable.

29.) Before you fuss about all that you still need to do, thank God for all that you have accomplished today.

30.) He breaks diamonds, fortifies glass and rebuilds debris.

31.) I need to end this because I’m sleepy.

What they can't do

What sleep can't do:
Do your requirements while you're in dreamland.

What a pessimistic mind can't do:
Anything---

What a worrywart can't do:
Use time wisely.

What a preoccupied person can't do:
Think of beautiful things.

What an overload of schedule can't do:
Adjust its time for you.

What stress can't do:
Kill its killer.

What seemingly endless tasks can't do:
Endure forever.

What you can't do:
He can do.

Healthy Yesses! (Late post)

I’ve recently heard from a professor the term “Healthy No’s”. The term amused me and at the same time marked in my mind since I am the type of person needing intensive classes in the subject “The Art of Saying No”.

This art, even more, is indeed necessary these busy, end-of-first-sem days. Healthy No’s are in demand for invitations from friends that can one way or another hamper your set timeline or goals in finishing things.

I, the very person who has a great difficulty in saying no, also have the sternest self-imposed plan for this week: do all that you can do.

 

However, things did no turn out how I wanted them to. Things turned out as He willed.

Last Wednesday, I was sure of A NO, about the invitation of my Mami and Sisther, for an overnight bonding and fellowship in Mami’shouse. I knew I needed to do my laundry (a huge pile of clothes were waiting on me) and I had a report to focus on.

However, my moody, easily-swayed-self, from a No- Yes – No – answer, ended up with a Yes. There was a great battle in my mind. My Mami and Sistherdid not persuade me to really accept the invitation, yet I was led by circumstances to go with them.

It when I was in the jeepneywith them, going to the house when I finally told myself: this then ended up as a healthy yes!

We are deeply blessed to be gifted by the Lord with friends and sisters-in-Christ who replenish our joy and remind us of the truly important things outside school.

I was reminded that an important subject of my life I am forgetting to focus on is the improvement of my inter-personal skills/ my relationship with other people. In our sharing, my Mami and Sithertalked about their interest in knowing others deeper. I thought that I too, desired that interest in personally knowing my classmates since I turned out to be one of the Top 10 mysterious students in the class that most wanted to get to know more.

I know, it can be my design to be thereserved type. However, I also see the desire in me to reach out to others in order to reach them more for Jesus. I am continuing to really see that our relationships with people matter a lot since no truer impact can be made unless we’ve gained intimacy with their hearts.

It brushed off my mind filled with academic things--- and let me ponder on the things of eternal significance.

Moreover, another healthy yes was made today. In the same manner with my first yes, I arrived at it with the initial NO in my mind.

He continues to let me learn how He always knows better than my plans.

 

I realized how healthy the yes I’ve made today to go at Wild Sons Youth Service with Mami, Sisther, and Sismatebecause of the joy and learning it has brought me and even more---- I took hold of that moment when I longed for His presence ­more than I longed to finish my requirements. Again, my being academic-centred is being broken, to be continually reminded of things of eternal significance, to be reminded of truly important things and to be reminded of being God-centered. Hooray and thank God for the healthy yesses! :)

50 Books Ahead

I, a future English teacher, have a number of confessions to make:

1.)    I deserve the title Abbie, Duchess of Sleepyland

2.)    I can be nominated The World’s Laziest Person.

3.)    I detest teachers who are not passionate in what they do; those who teach simply to earn a living.

And brace yourself for the worst one:

4.)   I DID NOT STUDY FOR A MIDTERM EXAM a while ago.

My realization about my third confession is a slap on my face. Who am I to detest a teacher who’s not passionately teaching when I AM a student who’s not passionately studying? It boils down to taking the log off my own eyes before I pinpoint the speck in others’ eyes. Even more, RESPECT for every teacher should always prevail.

Looking at my four confessions, it is very evident that my study habits are at its worst these days. The reconstruction I was trying to achieve came to a halt. The Christian student, doing everything for His glory, is nowhere to be found.

Being the Abbie that I am, I would always ask myself “Why is this happening to me?” My whole world of idealism for a perfect student and a perfect example as a future teacher is RUINED.

Or so I’d thought.

As I try to ponder, experiencing these failures and struggles as a student are my stepping stones to fully relate with and help my students. Where could I ever get the expertise in giving effective advice in dealing with sloth and laziness unless I have gone through those things myself?

And that’s one thing I really anticipate. I’m excited to be able to deal with these recurring student syndromes and be of help to my students (or even to other people) in the future.

I’ll end with what I heard a while ago from a passionate teacher who inspires our class: 50 books ahead. We are to be 20 or 50 books ahead from our students. However, this doesn’t literally mean we must be able to read 50 books more than they have (well it could be great if that’s really the case). This could mean that we are ahead in the experiences and learning we’ll have.

In my case, I want to be 50 books ahead in SUCCESSFULLY dealing with sloth, laziness and other student syndromes to be as what Howard Hendricks said a “running stream than a stagnant pool” to my future students.

Lover of Words

Last week, through a love language test, I have confirmed that my love language is words of affirmation. Second are: quality time and touch.

Well, I used the word “confirmed” since I, together with some close friends, really assumed that it was my love language even without the test.

My love for words has grown deeper since I started blogging. It has even heightened because ofsocial networking sites like facebook, twitter and tumblr where I, too, have fallen inlove with cool, relatable and moving posts and tweets of friends and especially the catchy statements on the photos in tumblr.

I, again, have fallen deeply in love with the words below: the content of the bookmark Patty read in front of us which she gave me during our send-off party for her.

Abbie :))

Thank you for being an inspiration.

You don’t know how much I learn whenever I see how you do great yet remain humble and simple.

I admire you for just being you- a person of simplicity and of strong faith.

You have made me realize a lot Abbie!

Stay strong.

I believe that you can be a great teacher. :))

Believe in what you can do and believe in God for those that you can’t.

I love you!

 

♥Patty

P.S. I printed a copy of the blog post you tagged me :))

 

Tears continuously ran down my eyes as I listened to her. And it best showed how words deeply move me and warm my heart. I truly am a lover of words.

 

Times of Stress: (A Late Entry)

Times of stress make me want to write a poem.

But the complexity of rhymes made me resort to a free verse poem.

 

Times of stress signal that you need rest.

From working you are called,

To pause and reflect

All along why have I been doing this?

You may ask yourself

Lie on your back and ponder,

Have you forgotten?

The Lord, the Creator,

Has given you hands to work for Him

His strength He has given you,

Have you dwelt on your own?

His joy he has filled you with,

Has the enemy robbed you of it?

Your mind He has filled with promises

Has the enemy replaced it

With the cares of this world?

 

Times of stress, signal you to stop

The Lordship of God has to be reinforced

You have reached the limits of your own strength

 

Times of stress best remind you

Of your dear Inspiration,

Wisdom and Savior,

When work has dimmed your thoughts of Him

 

Times of stress would only end,

When you surrender in prayer

And run back to Him.

He Proved Me Wrong

During the days, weeks, months and years that have passed, I always believed in my heart that teaching was the dream profession that God has planted in my heart. But I believed in that dream, not my ability to realize that dream. I believe that I am called to be a teacher but doubted myself and my skills in order to be one.

            This specific paragraph from my previous blog clearly shows my state a week ago:

“This Junior year makes me realize the weight of how much needs to be broken in me to make me a full-grown teacher. Endless demonstration teaching would equal to countless times spent speaking in public. It would mean the need of a louder voice than my loudest. It would mean leading not a number of kids but a whole class. It would mean forever stepping out of my comfort zone. And it actually freaks me out right now. Questioning God if teaching is really the profession He wills for me--- has passed through my mind more than once.”

            I know that lately, the Lord has dealt with my fears and worries. Thus, He reminded me of possessing a mind secured and in peace like His. But yesterday, He wanted me to possess His eyes as well. He wanted me to see something that I have always victoriously failed to see. He wanted me to see how He sees me.

            A demo teaching that I used to dread about has finally started yesterday. It wasn’t a full-blown demo because we only needed to demonstrate giving a listening activity in class. The night before this (Wednesday) my blog was about being secure and in peace.

            So although I started doing my listening activity late at night, I enjoyed a lot while I was doing it. And that was the time I really felt that it was the Holy Spirit who gave me the idea for the activity I made. “…and He will be the stability of your times, abundance of…wisdom”Isaiah 33:6 was the verse I was holding on to, believing that it is really God who gave me wisdom.

            Even in the morning, as I printed and photocopied the worksheets, I encountered more than one problem. I was definitely tempted to fret, fear and say Halaaaaaa many times but “There will be peace and security in my days.” Isaiah 39:8 was the promise that kept me from doing so.

            And before I started my demo, trusting God was still the thing that my heart longed to do.

            The result of the demo teaching is not something I want the world to know and read about so they can see how great I am. The victory is to show the work of the true and living God in the life of a weak-timid-fearful-pessimistic-person whom He gradually molds to become a strong-bold-faithful-positive GREAT English Teacher.

            As a person whose love language is words (I think so) it is my desire to take account of the strengths my professor and classmates saw in me. And probably the things that God wants me to see, which He has always seen in me:

These aren’t the exact words they used but I tried my best to rephrase and recall what they said:

“I like your voice. It’s sweet and I could listen to you while you’re reading the listening text twice or thrice and I wouldn’t mind, but of course not the whole day.”

“And you have a good diction…”

“Did you make this blog and worksheet?... “Tuning Into A Blog” is something different… And I like the way you made it”

“Now you already have two materials writer in class…”

“Aside from that [the points of improvement she gave me], what you did was impressive”

(Professor Thei Manicio, our professor in Teaching Listening and Speaking)

 

“Congrats Abbie, ang galing mo…”

“Favorite teacher…J”

“Kung ako studyante mo aattend ako lagi ng klase mo…”

“Magiging magaling kayong teachers…”

(Random dialogue of my HC Family)

 

For so long, I have focused on the entire negative in myself and in my life. But I could feel God desiring so much to boost my confidence and faith, by letting me experience this victory. I was only used to writing about a favoured life glorifying God. Yet He is continuing to make me the person I always thought I can only write about.

What is boast-worthy is His work in my life and not the victory itself.

And with His work in my life, He proved me wrong.

 

P.S.

Classmates, if you’re pressured and you think that you can’t meet or surpass the seemingly high standards we have set, let His work in your demo prove you wrong!

 

 

“Halaaaaa” Will Be Non-Existent

This, I think, would be the best way to condition myself for the upcoming busy hours: to WRITE.

Fear had been a cliché in my life. It used to be an inseparable part of me. I don’t think I would be “me” without it.

Halaaaa is the linguistic expression and declaration of my fears. “Halaaa bukas na pasahan niyan wala pa akong nagagawa.” “Halaaa pano yun ang hirap?”,“Halaaaa di ko mahanap yung report ko.” Halaaaaaaaaa.

Since I was born again, the Lord had his various ways of dealing with my fears. And every day I will have my own way of being fearful again.

As I count it, I’m a nine-year old Christian (since I personally accepted Christ when I was 10 years old) but it didn’t mean that through these years my fears have completely vanished.

But today I realized how we’ll really experience times of being fed up and dissatisfied with our unending routines.

I was too tired to live in fear of the tasks I have not yet started. I was fed up with worries’ seemingly perfect attendance in the room of my heart.

This day, through a situation in the life of Hezekiah, I was inspired to strive for fear and worries to be non-existent in my life (or this specific day to be exact).

“There will be peace and security in my days.” Isaiah 39:8

King Hezekiah said this when a bad news was told to him by Prophet Isaiah. (You can read Isaiah 39 to further understand it)

Whatever bad news or negative things that come in our way we people have tendencies to fret and may even say Halaaaaa  (like me)

But Hezekiah exemplified that: A man who has found favour in the sight of God has nothing to fear.

This and all the promises of God strengthen my faith. The world will truly throw a lot of distractions, negative thoughts and feelings at us, yet His word will implant in us the Philippians 4:8 mind: His mind.

Like Hezekiah, “there will be peace and security in my days.” Halaaaaa will be non-existent.

(Consider the modal used: will = 100% assurance because of our Prince of Peace. =])

An inspiration and instrument of God

This post is my 1st blog entry for my account this school year. And this one’s one of the hardest to put into writing. I feel like the complexity of what I’m feeling and experiencing made words unfit or hard to put together to convey the message I wish to share. (What a dilemma for a writer!)

Yet thankfully, one person inspired me yesterday. She seemed to have given me a paper with the outline of what I needed to write.

The person adding up to my list of inspirations is Patty. You do not know her, do you? Let me introduce this amazing person to you. Patty was a classmate of mine last school year, but now she isn’t anymore because she was granted as a Global Exchange student to study in America (North Carolina to be exact) and she’ll be leaving this August.

(Here's a photo of her:)

I am not inspired by the mere fact that she was granted the Fulbright scholarship, but I am “inspired to tears” about HOW she got there.

She shared her experiences as an English Major during “e-merge”: in our General Assembly. And I tell you, when she gave me a note during our class activity that read: “You remind me of gravity.” I am pretty sure while listening to her speech that the note was rather meant for her.

I did not see someone up on stage, bragging about the scholarship hundreds of people applied for, saying “I received this because I am good. I have all the skills and intelligence in the world to qualify for this.”

Rather, I saw someone who shared how she seemed unfit in the beginning for that kind of scholarship. She shared how she cried during her interview for our majorship. She shared how she could not even recite in classroom discussions unless she has memorized what she’ll say. I can never take this against her as a way of revealing her weaknesses. No, through this she has shown all English majors and professors what her greatest strength was: humility. And this mark of humility keeps me crying until now.

And as her classmate and friend, I know that the advice she gave in her speech to “Give your best” did not remain a cliché, it possessed grander impact, for from her life, “best” is truly displayed in every single thing she does.

She retold her experience during the interview for the Fulbright scholarship and it was an exact opposite of her interview for our majorship. She said that she was able to confidently answer all the questions raised. I am in no doubt that she has grown so much because of her humility and hard work.

Through Patty, I felt God consoled my heart. The message my heart was longing for, He impressed to me through her.

And what was I going through? Why did I need comfort?

One: This statement was all that I could write yesterday as I attempted to write: There has to be some way to put up with expectations that are seemingly too ideal.

                Simply put, discouragement has its subtle way of attacking me these days. Giving God all the glory through doing good in my studies was something I boldly, emotionally written for the youth blog. But I feel like I have set my hopes and expectancy too high. I feel like I could not attain it. I feel like I do not glorify God at all, for I seem to be an ordinary student. The distinction between God’s students and the world’s I could not let others see.

Two: What a professor told me when I was being interviewed for Literature majorship way back when I was a freshman, lingers on my mind: “You’re pitifully shy, how can you become a teacher?”

            This Junior year makes me realize the weight of how much needs to be broken in me to make me a full-grown teacher. Endless demonstration teaching would equal to countless times spent speaking in public. It would mean the need of a louder voice than my loudest. It would mean leading not a number of kids but a whole class. It would mean forever stepping out of my comfort zone. And it actually freaks me out right now. Questioning God if teaching is really the profession He wills for me--- has passed through my mind more than once.

The exact words of how to deal with these things did not came from Patty’s speech. But she is the reason, the instrument God used for my realizations.

One: I felt that she has her own share of feeling like she could not do something, or feeling like she could never attain something. I was inspired to know someone who felt this before, has surpassed this and now could do things and has attained something. Plus, who told me it is only by getting good grades in school that I will glorify my God? The Lord impressed upon me that when we fail and not remain as a failure, it is another way of glorifying Him.

Two: Patty gave me a different view on weaknesses. Somehow these weaknesses that we have are to be embraced. They can be celebratory after all. Her admission of weaknesses made God the strong deliverer in her life. This humility turned our eyes from herself to the work God has done in her life. I am in tears to say that I’ll be grateful for who I am: the Abbie abounding in weaknesses because through this, people will see the great strength of my God and His work in my life. The verse: “For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Cor. 12:10) has never been this alive. Only, it could be exactly this version: “For when I am weak, then HE is strong.”

 

Patty, I know that God will always be with you and will surely bless you in the journey He has led you to. WCNEHTIATGFY. You can ask Esther the meaning of this one J

Daddy Lord, Truly, you “have established the beginning of every wonder.” (Caedmon) There’s no backing out in the dream profession You have planted in my heart.  ICNTYE. (I can never thank you enough =D) I love you J

I.N.S.P.I.R.E.D? :)

“For whom am I toiling and depriving myself of pleasure?”

             Have you ever asked yourself this question? The wisest man that had ever lived on earth made mention the necessity of this question on the book of Ecclesiastes, chapter 4 verse 8. For if not he said, toil or hard work is mere striving after the wind. And in our journey of studying, (or living even so) we’ll at one point or another get tired, or one day feel like never going to school again. For me, one effective way to drain these unhelpful thoughts is to redirect my focus on my inspirations. Have you found yours? Below are the ones that keep me I.N.S.P.I.R.E.D:

            The seat

            I once talked about taking the last seat on my entry about my first day last semester. Now, I’ll talk about a different kind of seat. In my greatest attempt to describe in words, this seat is a portable folding chair that is shaped like a box. Its top has a pink backdrop with blue, yellow, black, white and striped polka dots on it. It can both be a container and a chair. On top of it, I place a yellow cushion. This seat, a green table and my blue-colored lamp make up my newfound study place for this second semester. My father bought it for me. So whenever I sit on it, I’ll remember to study hard for my family. :)

           

            Alam mo, excited akong pumasok…

          Paano ba naman, ikaw teacher ko eh =))

          Talk about excitement to go to school and pick-up lines. These are the two things about my two great professors in Professional Education this 2^nd semester. I’d like to note these first two teachers of mine every M, T, Th, and F.

            First, our professor in Curriculum Development is not the type of teacher who’ll give you more than a hundred reasons to sleep or get bored in class. She is a conserver of time for not a minute is wasted during her discussions. She greets us “Good morning English Teachers!” with oozing energy and enthusiasm making it sink into me more what in the world I am studying for… yes, to be an English teacher! She has that very evident, flaming passion in teaching that I’m left in awe and inspired.

            The next is our very beautiful, intelligent ad young professor in Introduction to Special Education, Ms. Custodio. Aside from the fact that she looks our age, she also teaches well. Before our class begins, she would pick three to four class cards and those students that will be called will have to roll the die. The number that one will get will signify her designated task:

            1 - Tell the news for that day, be it foreign or local

            2 - Give one trivia         

            3 – Crack a joke

            4 –Give one knock-knock

            5 – Tell one pick-up line

            6 – Choose one from the five tasks

 

            What thrilled me is that I’ll be obliged to read the news everyday and even the preparation to crack a joke and a pick-up line. And the most nerve-racking for me is to give one knock-knock. Mind you, I already did! =D

            Kudos to these professors, they inspire me this much :).

 

            11-11-10 vs. 11-11-11

          If today was the November 10^th of last year, I’d be working on a project or assignment waiting for his text message. I’d be studying for a quiz or exam coupled with my dreams of finally spending time with him. He was in every thought of every little thing that I do, a thought I keep with me wherever I go. Back then, I wouldn’t be excited about going home as much that I was to see him. My motivation to continue to go to school and study was the notion of fulfilling my future plans… with him. This man had then seemed to be the world to me.

            This him was not Him that deserved a capital H. The Lord is the Him that unspeakably changed my world and thinking. He is the miraculous Lord who enabled me to let go of the very close attachment I had with that man. I have found the courage to write all these because of my amazement right now. How fast and unfathomable things changed!

            I’ll always be excited to go home every weekend in Cavite. I am even homesick more often than not. I made goals of studying for God, my family, future students and for a better self. I hardly use my cellphone or even wait for a text message. My thoughts will be drifting to God, to His word, then to Him again and the things that He seems to be telling me. I am looking forward every Sunday to go to church, teach the children, and worship Him. I am continuing to fall deeper in love with my family. I am seeing and realizing the deeper value of my friendships and relationships with people. My personal relationship with the Lord is my source of strength, the very reason I still continue to go to school and face each day. HE is now the world to me.

            Still searching for inspiration? You don’t have to go far and get them elsewhere… in your house, in your classrooms (hmmm baka ibang inspiration ang hanapin ah..Hahaha) and as you look up, you can find THEM.

            Then these inspirations will motivate you to go on in studying and in living. (Still by His grace and strength)

            Stay I.N.S.P.I.R.E.D! =)

           

 

What to WRITE?

Running thoughts flood my mind, one rushing over another and I think they're brought about by the bulk of tasks I've been doing and I still need to do. 

It was a blessed relief we somehow got rid of "the figures" because we don't have any Math subject this 1st semester. But I find myself facing the blank paper innumerable times. We've been tasked (and we still are) to write different kinds of essays --- from descriptive, comparative, argumentative to occasional papers and end of term essays (not to mention two case studies). My school life as an English major turned out to be a writing course.

I have asked it so many times, What to write? (And the question itself I doubt if it's grammatically correct) 

Even during days when I attempt to write a blog --- I face a blank screen. 

The randomness of my thoughts simply finds itself expressed through pictures I specially handpicked from the internet. I hope these images paint the thousand words the captions could not fully describe. 

(writegroove.com)

Sadly, I could not upload the picture of my small pencil from my phone. So the one up here is a substitute. I simply reiterate --- Endless writing for the end times of the first semester. My pencil as small as that will support the italicized statement.

(http://www.mobilitysite.com)

I'm no tech savvy, but I've been longing for a net book or a laptop that I can call MINE. As always, it is preferably color blue. 

To my future net book, 

You have the very subtle ways of making me want you badly. Renting in computer shops or waiting for the right timing to borrow the laptop of my Ate in the dorm inconveniences me more often. I hope God will give you to me, miraculously,  and of course in the His soonest possible time line. 

By faith, 

Your  future owner 

(http://recruitingunblog.wordpress.com)

This one I won't write much about. There are sudden lurking monsters in my heart and they leave me writing this figure several times in my journal - - - - - </3. Well, brokenness of the heart  is no business alone of a longing lone individual. It could be a deep sense of inner turmoil.  Yet Daddy Lord quiets them down, someday soon, they will fully vanish.

(ph.88db.com)

After time immemorial, I've entered SM Manila again! Well, I bought some PASALUBONG (so excited to go home!) for my two sisters. I bought them from papemelroti and one from National Bookstore. You know what surprised  me? (1) The separation of the female and male entrance plus their very strict security and (2) The renovated National Bookstore! Weeeeee :) I missed school supplies hunting. 

By God's grace it's sembreak sooooooooon! God is so great that several deadlines of  requirements were extended til next week! Exams are even rescheduled on Friday. And really, to make the most of this ending semester is to give our best as well as sleep little, if still possible at all.

 #God really knows I am no superhuman

Finally, my God, Daddy, Best Friend ... Everything, never fails to make me

(sciencebuzz.org)

even during my "unblogged" days and every single day.

#my right to write

the randomness of  my thoughts