Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Healthy Yesses! (Late post)
I’ve recently heard from a professor the term “Healthy No’s”. The term amused me and at the same time marked in my mind since I am the type of person needing intensive classes in the subject “The Art of Saying No”.
This art, even more, is indeed necessary these busy, end-of-first-sem days. Healthy No’s are in demand for invitations from friends that can one way or another hamper your set timeline or goals in finishing things.
I, the very person who has a great difficulty in saying no, also have the sternest self-imposed plan for this week: do all that you can do.
However, things did no turn out how I wanted them to. Things turned out as He willed.
Last Wednesday, I was sure of A NO, about the invitation of my Mami and Sisther, for an overnight bonding and fellowship in Mami’shouse. I knew I needed to do my laundry (a huge pile of clothes were waiting on me) and I had a report to focus on.
However, my moody, easily-swayed-self, from a No- Yes – No – answer, ended up with a Yes. There was a great battle in my mind. My Mami and Sistherdid not persuade me to really accept the invitation, yet I was led by circumstances to go with them.
It when I was in the jeepneywith them, going to the house when I finally told myself: this then ended up as a healthy yes!
We are deeply blessed to be gifted by the Lord with friends and sisters-in-Christ who replenish our joy and remind us of the truly important things outside school.
I was reminded that an important subject of my life I am forgetting to focus on is the improvement of my inter-personal skills/ my relationship with other people. In our sharing, my Mami and Sithertalked about their interest in knowing others deeper. I thought that I too, desired that interest in personally knowing my classmates since I turned out to be one of the Top 10 mysterious students in the class that most wanted to get to know more.
I know, it can be my design to be thereserved type. However, I also see the desire in me to reach out to others in order to reach them more for Jesus. I am continuing to really see that our relationships with people matter a lot since no truer impact can be made unless we’ve gained intimacy with their hearts.
It brushed off my mind filled with academic things--- and let me ponder on the things of eternal significance.
Moreover, another healthy yes was made today. In the same manner with my first yes, I arrived at it with the initial NO in my mind.
He continues to let me learn how He always knows better than my plans.
I realized how healthy the yes I’ve made today to go at Wild Sons Youth Service with Mami, Sisther, and Sismatebecause of the joy and learning it has brought me and even more---- I took hold of that moment when I longed for His presence more than I longed to finish my requirements. Again, my being academic-centred is being broken, to be continually reminded of things of eternal significance, to be reminded of truly important things and to be reminded of being God-centered. Hooray and thank God for the healthy yesses! :)
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
WE can
This is both in my attempt to keep my blog account and writing from rusting. Pardon the “disorganization” of ideas. The writer is in the state of adjustment from being AWOL in her craft.
The best solution for a person who solely trusts his feeble, limited self is to give up.
And these past few days, weeks, my motto in life was: Give up.
I was brought to a chapter in my life wherein I fully understood what it meant when people say they don’t understand a thing in what’s happening in their lives.
Trust was not tangible for me, neither to grope for a Word from Him, for not only I, but even my devotion life was being repaired.
Times like these when you don’t have the will to do right and perform the best, when no strength from within you empowers you to strive, when all means within you-heart, mind, body are exhausted to no avail---- He shouts “It is I, Here am I” and you are no longer deaf not to hear it.
Self-sufficiency makes you deaf of His plea for true dependence on Him. It is only when you realize you can do absolutely nothing, you can truly rely on His saving, enabling power.
The Lord gave me the shortest, most striking message, that over again, resounds my ear. “It is I, Here am I.”
“It is I who will do the change in you, It is I who will save you from the things you can never save yourself from. It is I who is in control of your situation and life. Here am I, I am at work. Here am I, watching over you. It is I—who will be your strength, wisdom, encouragement, joy, love, and peace. It is I, your Everything. Here am I.”
But to know that He shouts “It is I” and to be fully aware that you can do nothing on your own should not equate to self-depreciation. It instead renews our minds of His promises and the beauty of a God-handled life; and it also reaffirms our worth and significance as victorious, favoured conquerors of the King.
And when He continually says “It is I”, I responded to Him that “Lord, WE can do this…”
I have HEARD and KNOWN these things perfectly well before. But these days, the greatest privilege I have as His child is to concretely behold these like a newfound treasure--- which I could perceive in thoughts but never caress with my own hands.
Indeed, He lets me believe in my heart, that I am becoming more and more like Him. I am knowing Him like never before. I am experiencing Him like never before. My relationship with Him is being transformed like never before!
Isaiah 52:6 “Therefore, my people shall know my name. Therefore, in that day they shall know that it is I who speak, here am I.”
“…while He has chosen a feeble instrument to perform a great task, He will, from the boundless stores of His providence supply the inadequacy of the means to the end. It is the Rock of Ages [you are asked] to lean on: do not doubt it will bear the weight of your human weakness.” p.398. Charlotte Bronte- Jane Eyre.