Eye, I, PROBLEM

One day, God may tap you and say, “Hey, my child, there’s something wrong with your eye sight.”

We never knew God as an ophthalmologist, but sure thing He’s all-knowing.

It occurred to me that God did a check-up with my eyes and found out an eye problem.

He revealed it at the time when I was at the brink of my earnest desire for immediate change. Probably, from the beginning of 2012, many of us have listed or simply thought of the changes we want to have this year. Death of old habits,  improvement of weaknesses or even betterment of strengths.

 

The thing that we must be mindful of is drawing the line of our limitations.

I found myself writing this the day God told me of my eye problem:

 

But eyes not on what you lack

                        on whom you still need to be

                        on your weaknesses and hang-ups

 

But eyes on what you already have

                 on  whom you are

                 on your strengths and talents

It is ungratefulness that will fill a heart of a  person whose eyes had been boxed to be desperate for change. When our eyes focus mainly on the things that we need to change in ourselves, we lose track of how extraordinary and talented God has already created us to be. That yearning to be immediately a different person  can even in itself instill hatred to your present self.

 

I was dumbfounded when God led me to Psalm 65.  God did not let me realize how blessed I am because of how he made me. God instead let me realize how I’m blessed beyond my thinking or sight because of the greatness I have in Him.

Our God is so great, so powerful (as it is intricately described in Psalm 65) that not to see it is such a pitiful eye problem.

This eye problem is also  called an “I” Problem. Your eyes get so narrowed with your personal limitations that you can’t meditate on the greatness of your God. Definitely, you are not solely blessed with what you have but you’re EXTREMELY, ABUNDANTLY, AND UNQUESTIONABLY BLESSED because of the God you have in HIM.

Then, it leads us back to God Himself. God loves you and desires to change part of your character but not your whole personality. Be grateful for who you are at present. Remember HE does the change. Doing it by your own strength, forcing it in your own time line will only make you disappointed and frustrated. What we are left with is the responsibility to let Him cure this eye, I,  PROBLEM. Divert. Divert. Eyes to God and not to self.

 

I don't want him happy this 2012

I could picture him feasting while I was wallowing.

I could imagine him rejoicing in triumph while  I was overwhelmed with failure. he was full of hope when I was hopeless, he was full of joy when I was filled with sorrow.

 There he was, gloating over the beginning of my year. he was so excited when my  previous days seemed to be a replay of my 2011 old and  negative habits.

 he was happy I took the lordship of my emotions and eventually end up as a slave of it.

he was happy that eating, sleeping, dilly-dallying were the things I overly resorted to as an outlet for my emotional pampering

he was happy I lost my passion and love for studying

he was happy I procrastinated for the 234095768403039487320230th time

he was happy  that my heart was in turmoil and was filled with anxieties

he was happy I was so negative and faithless like a pagan

he was happy I chose to be broken-hearted

he was happy I longed for and was desperate for fleeting appreciation and admiration

he was happy I felt insecure and unworthy

he was happy I have  abandoned my Multiply account for so long

All these have brought happiness to Satan. It was celebratory for him to see me that way.

 

Tip of the iceberg. The above are obvious implications of major underlying struggles I’ve dealt with. (which I pray to be able to blog about soon)

But simply put, the main lesson God wanted me to learn was HUMILITY.

 

Humility in my weakness (a very striking message from Ptr. Anthony that I always remember)

Satan is rejoicing when we struggle to humble ourselves before God and  ask Him to take over.

his deception will be: “Aren’t you ashamed of yourself? You are weak and disobedient! Fix everything first and change yourself to be worthy!”

Only, he wanted you to be lord of your life. To fix everything and to change yourself are things that only God can do!

From literally feeling like thrown into the pit, hopeless, God is our Salvation. (Psalm 62:5-7)

These verses would never be proven real  and powerful unless God takes you in that helpless situation when Satan is rejoicing over the heaviness of your heart.

 I believe that it is only through God that I’ll be able to make Satan wallow in despair. 

I don’t want him happy this 2012. 

I want my God celebrating in joy!