I don't want him happy this 2012

I could picture him feasting while I was wallowing.

I could imagine him rejoicing in triumph while  I was overwhelmed with failure. he was full of hope when I was hopeless, he was full of joy when I was filled with sorrow.

 There he was, gloating over the beginning of my year. he was so excited when my  previous days seemed to be a replay of my 2011 old and  negative habits.

 he was happy I took the lordship of my emotions and eventually end up as a slave of it.

he was happy that eating, sleeping, dilly-dallying were the things I overly resorted to as an outlet for my emotional pampering

he was happy I lost my passion and love for studying

he was happy I procrastinated for the 234095768403039487320230th time

he was happy  that my heart was in turmoil and was filled with anxieties

he was happy I was so negative and faithless like a pagan

he was happy I chose to be broken-hearted

he was happy I longed for and was desperate for fleeting appreciation and admiration

he was happy I felt insecure and unworthy

he was happy I have  abandoned my Multiply account for so long

All these have brought happiness to Satan. It was celebratory for him to see me that way.

 

Tip of the iceberg. The above are obvious implications of major underlying struggles I’ve dealt with. (which I pray to be able to blog about soon)

But simply put, the main lesson God wanted me to learn was HUMILITY.

 

Humility in my weakness (a very striking message from Ptr. Anthony that I always remember)

Satan is rejoicing when we struggle to humble ourselves before God and  ask Him to take over.

his deception will be: “Aren’t you ashamed of yourself? You are weak and disobedient! Fix everything first and change yourself to be worthy!”

Only, he wanted you to be lord of your life. To fix everything and to change yourself are things that only God can do!

From literally feeling like thrown into the pit, hopeless, God is our Salvation. (Psalm 62:5-7)

These verses would never be proven real  and powerful unless God takes you in that helpless situation when Satan is rejoicing over the heaviness of your heart.

 I believe that it is only through God that I’ll be able to make Satan wallow in despair. 

I don’t want him happy this 2012. 

I want my God celebrating in joy!