Picture… Perfect

 I should be writing about Psalmie---  my netbook buddy.

The explanation of its name, the apology I want to render it and the gratefulness I have for it--- were all but eclipsed by something that demands my attention at the moment.

I was surprised at how my unconscious actions betrayed concealment. Above is a picture… perfect to paint the nature of my present world.

 

Epiphany:

I am straying from my Main Topic.

Reason is slowly losing its hold on me, I am drawn to the currents of an unruly heart.

 

An object to pin my sight and hopes on, dims the sole Apple of my eyes.

So easily, unthinkingly, and hurriedly we equate happiness with fleeting things…

 

Why such, waits to leave and pain us still.

Ravenous

My being ravenous this morning was not for my dear food or sweets.

The word ravenous appeared in my journal in these sentences: “I, too, am RAVENOUS for Your word Jesus”and “I’m so RAVENOUS Lord… You gave me so much of Your message.”

The food given to me was "so much that I got to give it away; so much that I could not contain it."

So here’s to His generosity: may you too enjoy the God-breathed nourishment!

 

Meal: Isaiah 51

 

Appetizer:

The beauty in looking back

Look to where you have been rescued… You will see how He called you to bless you. (vv.1-2)

Revelation

“but My salvation will be forever, and My righteousness will never be dismayed.” (v.8)

            Who said that salvation ends when we have accepted Him as our Lord and Savior? Salvation is forever, because from the day you let Him inside your heart, He will continually, eternally, save you from your problems, sins and self.

            What is it to us to know that ours is a righteous God? Righteous means blameless and someone who cannot be mistaken:it means that He is a God who can never be mistaken in everything He allows to happen in His children’s lives!

 

Main Cuisine:

When I’m tempted…

 

When I’m tempted to look at man for security and comfort,You gave me Your Word:

“I, I am He who comforts you;” (v.12)

 

When I’m tempted to soak myself into busyness and dwell on the impossibility of tasks,You gave me Your Word:

“You..have forgotten the Lord, your Maker, who stretched out the heavens and laid the foundations of the earth” (v.13)

 

When I’m tempted to “fear continually all the day” You gave me Your Word:

“I have covered you in the shadows of my hand, establishing the heavens, and laying the foundations of the earth, and saying… ‘You are my people.’ (v.16)

 

When I’m tempted to think that nothing’s happening and You seem passive about everything, You gave me Your Word:

“Your God… pleads the cause of His people” (v.22)

 

When I’m tempted to think that my situation will always be like before, You gave me Your Word:

“Behold, I have taken from your hand the cup of staggering… and I will put it into the hand of your tormentors.” (v.22)

 

Lastly, the dessert:

 

Joy, joy, joy, joy, joy, joy, joy

 “And the ransomed of the Lord shall return and come to Zion with singing, everlasting joy shall be upon their heads; they shall obtain gladness and joy, and sorrow and sighing shall flee away.” (v.11)

Eternal joy is yours, child of God!

 

Surely He will grant a ravenous soul more than what it could take or imagine!I got a good kind of earful and ‘stomachful’ with Jesus’ Words for me today.

Reader, I hope you did too! 

 

 

For the time being

Now, my heart speaks.

 

I saw and recognize you in the faintest of light.

Your features were dearly known to my memory,

And have registered alarm in my heart upon any sight of it.

 

How farther than the moon you seemed

Among the strangers before you, I was one.

 

Stare.

No I was but the air.

Words.

No nothing was spoken.

 

Silence and inaction were the active weapons

To crush me within

-emooomo!

----

Jane Eyre, the present object of my admiration and endearment in thoughts and in character (of course in the brilliant narration and depiction of Charlotte Bronte) has beautifully put into words what my heart was in dire need of.

“It is madness in all women to let a secret love kindle within them, which if unreturned and unknown, must devour the life that feeds it.” (Bronte C., 1847)

“don’t make him the object of your fine feelings, your raptures, agonies and so forth… be too self-respecting to lavish the love of the whole heart, soul and strength, where such a gift is not wanted and would be despised.” (Bronte C., 1847)

 

First, I DISOWN the idea that I am inlove. I am not. In fact, I only know now of God’s love and my love for family and friends. Love, (romantic to be particular) to me, is too complex, indefinite at the moment. I don’t bother deciphering it now.

Second, the word “Love” in Bronte’s words can be replaced by the word “Liking” to best suit the need of my heart.

Third, the emooo poem, may have spoken it all. For the time being, heartache looms before me.

Fourth, I am in awe how these heartbreak issues toughen the maturity of my heart, deepen His role as to solely satisfy my soul, and draw me closest to His love.

 

Lastly, whatever this is, it’s only for the time being.

*The posting of this entry pushed through because the heart ache was raised to the 2^nd power....today... for the time being.

You. You. Miserable without You.

Sigh

Rant

Blurt Out

Cry

The pressure is around me, within me, all over me, overwhelming my being.

All negatives spring out from a soul that has not met its Peace and Security first thing in the morning.

To begin the day without You is to begin the worst day.

Everything is shaky, much more frustrating and hopeless when I have disconnected myself from OUR world.

All negative things fill me, my heart and my head, when I have not surrendered my day to You.

Daddy, Your child is just miserable without You.

I'm at a loss for words. 

Away from these things. To You I run again. 

*Click log out, Sign out, Hibernate

Amazing! ♥

It’s amazing how I’m starting to redeem industry and love for the things that I do.

It’s amazing how people manage to work and concentrate under pressure.

It’s amazing how cramming (though negative) can be optimized to bring out the creative juices within us!

It’s amazing how my classmates manage to “chillax” and have fun despite the overwhelming requirements.

It’s amazing how my always-freaking-out heart and mind learns how to calm down.

It’s amazing how contagious the joy of my friends are, that I’m starting to think that I already am a melancholic-turned-sanguine!

 

It’s amazing when He lets you see how He orchestrates the events of your life.

It’s amazing when He lets you witness the changes He is working in you!

It’s amazing when all the things you worried about and feared of a day before or hours earlier were trashed at the relief of how wonderfully the day ended!

It’s amazing when you ponder that everything you have done, said or thought today, He has favoured and blessed!

 

It’s amazing that the Lord comforts us with concrete expression of His love and power through the simplest ways!

And it’s amazing that I’m learning how to find time to do the thing that recharges me inspires me and keeps me---writing.

 

My ever-favorite from Caedmon’s Hymn:Truly, He… established the beginning of every wonder! Amazing! ♥

 

50 Books Ahead

I, a future English teacher, have a number of confessions to make:

1.)    I deserve the title Abbie, Duchess of Sleepyland

2.)    I can be nominated The World’s Laziest Person.

3.)    I detest teachers who are not passionate in what they do; those who teach simply to earn a living.

And brace yourself for the worst one:

4.)   I DID NOT STUDY FOR A MIDTERM EXAM a while ago.

My realization about my third confession is a slap on my face. Who am I to detest a teacher who’s not passionately teaching when I AM a student who’s not passionately studying? It boils down to taking the log off my own eyes before I pinpoint the speck in others’ eyes. Even more, RESPECT for every teacher should always prevail.

Looking at my four confessions, it is very evident that my study habits are at its worst these days. The reconstruction I was trying to achieve came to a halt. The Christian student, doing everything for His glory, is nowhere to be found.

Being the Abbie that I am, I would always ask myself “Why is this happening to me?” My whole world of idealism for a perfect student and a perfect example as a future teacher is RUINED.

Or so I’d thought.

As I try to ponder, experiencing these failures and struggles as a student are my stepping stones to fully relate with and help my students. Where could I ever get the expertise in giving effective advice in dealing with sloth and laziness unless I have gone through those things myself?

And that’s one thing I really anticipate. I’m excited to be able to deal with these recurring student syndromes and be of help to my students (or even to other people) in the future.

I’ll end with what I heard a while ago from a passionate teacher who inspires our class: 50 books ahead. We are to be 20 or 50 books ahead from our students. However, this doesn’t literally mean we must be able to read 50 books more than they have (well it could be great if that’s really the case). This could mean that we are ahead in the experiences and learning we’ll have.

In my case, I want to be 50 books ahead in SUCCESSFULLY dealing with sloth, laziness and other student syndromes to be as what Howard Hendricks said a “running stream than a stagnant pool” to my future students.

Lover of Words

Last week, through a love language test, I have confirmed that my love language is words of affirmation. Second are: quality time and touch.

Well, I used the word “confirmed” since I, together with some close friends, really assumed that it was my love language even without the test.

My love for words has grown deeper since I started blogging. It has even heightened because ofsocial networking sites like facebook, twitter and tumblr where I, too, have fallen inlove with cool, relatable and moving posts and tweets of friends and especially the catchy statements on the photos in tumblr.

I, again, have fallen deeply in love with the words below: the content of the bookmark Patty read in front of us which she gave me during our send-off party for her.

Abbie :))

Thank you for being an inspiration.

You don’t know how much I learn whenever I see how you do great yet remain humble and simple.

I admire you for just being you- a person of simplicity and of strong faith.

You have made me realize a lot Abbie!

Stay strong.

I believe that you can be a great teacher. :))

Believe in what you can do and believe in God for those that you can’t.

I love you!

 

♥Patty

P.S. I printed a copy of the blog post you tagged me :))

 

Tears continuously ran down my eyes as I listened to her. And it best showed how words deeply move me and warm my heart. I truly am a lover of words.