Now, my heart speaks.
I saw and recognize you in the faintest of light.
Your features were dearly known to my memory,
And have registered alarm in my heart upon any sight of it.
How farther than the moon you seemed
Among the strangers before you, I was one.
Stare.
No I was but the air.
Words.
No nothing was spoken.
Silence and inaction were the active weapons
To crush me within
-emooomo!
----
Jane Eyre, the present object of my admiration and endearment in thoughts and in character (of course in the brilliant narration and depiction of Charlotte Bronte) has beautifully put into words what my heart was in dire need of.
“It is madness in all women to let a secret love kindle within them, which if unreturned and unknown, must devour the life that feeds it.” (Bronte C., 1847)
“don’t make him the object of your fine feelings, your raptures, agonies and so forth… be too self-respecting to lavish the love of the whole heart, soul and strength, where such a gift is not wanted and would be despised.” (Bronte C., 1847)
First, I DISOWN the idea that I am inlove. I am not. In fact, I only know now of God’s love and my love for family and friends. Love, (romantic to be particular) to me, is too complex, indefinite at the moment. I don’t bother deciphering it now.
Second, the word “Love” in Bronte’s words can be replaced by the word “Liking” to best suit the need of my heart.
Third, the emooo poem, may have spoken it all. For the time being, heartache looms before me.
Fourth, I am in awe how these heartbreak issues toughen the maturity of my heart, deepen His role as to solely satisfy my soul, and draw me closest to His love.
Lastly, whatever this is, it’s only for the time being.
*The posting of this entry pushed through because the heart ache was raised to the 2nd power....today... for the time being.
Do you, like me, find Jane Austen to be a "semi" alter ego? :)))))))
ReplyDeleteAte sinearch ko pa yung meaning ng alter ego. Hahaha. Hmmm. Si Jane Eyre po ate yung nakikita kong semi alter ego ko. Hehe. Di ko pa po kasi tapos yung Pride and Prejudice ni Jane Austen. Hehe.
ReplyDeleteAy Jane Eyre pala 'to ni Bronte? Tama? Haha. Lutang lang, basta nakakita ng Jane, Austen agad? :)))
ReplyDeletePag natapos mo Pride and Prejudice, balitaan mo ko. Hehe. Sana magkita na tayo by then. :))
Hahaha. Ok Ate :))
ReplyDelete