October 31, 2011
Monday
The "write feeling"
It was the same feeling when I happen to scan through Jessica Zafra’s “Twisted”. Each of her essays were dated with the corresponding month and year they were written. I imagined her writing every night, before she slept, when she’s bored, or probably just whenever she suddenly thought of something to write. It was the very feeling of wanting to write something that could be published one day with my name as the author. It was an August 10, and we were looking for “America is in the Heart” at Power Books in Robinson’s Place, Ermita, Manila, not knowing that the book will also ignite the flame in me for writing. It was the autobiography of Carlos Bulosan who only had three years of schooling, spent his life devouring books, and then became a writer in his later years. How can a person with more than thirteen years of schooling not dream to write as well? If books were the things I had to spend my lifetime with, I have 53 years of doing so from an average life span’s point of view.
The same feeling was rekindled last Sunday night when a Pastor in our church finally had his book published. It is a book of humor and evangelism so generous for P200.00, I so desire to have a copy of.
If multiply has “crushes” too (like the one in tumblr) maybe my ultimate crush would be Ate Joan :). Though she isn’t a professional writer yet, consider me an avid fan of her, her blog, and future books :). I think I made mention of words that meant she inspired me for two or three times in my last entry. She has a special way of flaming the “write” feeling in me.
The most recent culprit why I’m itching to write all these is the movie “Letters to Juliet”. From a fact checker, Sophie (Amanda Seyfried) became a writer. I was not pro everything about the movie but what struck me most was her intense desire to be able to write. The sight of her eagerly writing on her notebook, her experiences in featuring her first story and finally when she passed her manuscript and sighed at her boss’ affirmation! Her work will be published! I saw all wonder and gratefulness on her face.
This overriding feeling engulfs me right now.
“You are a lover of words… One day, you will write a book. People turn to you because you give voice to dreams, notice little things, and make otherwise impossible imaginings appear real. You are a rare bird who thinks the world is beautiful enough to try to figure it out, who has the courage to dive into your wild mind and go swimming there. You are someone who still believes in cloud watching, people watching, day dreaming, tomorrow, favorite colors, silver clouds, dandelions, and sorrow. Be sacred. Be cool. Be wild. Go far. Words do more than plant miracle seeds with you writing them.”
This is from a friend’s Hallmark bookmark which I copied a year ago. It didn’t have the writer’s name on it, and I didn’t know it would perfectly fit here a year after.
I have far yet to learn in my writing. I commit grammatical errors. I still have issues in the organization and coherence of my thoughts. I still doubt my own works and ideas. And very noticeable is that I rely on the “write” feeling I have. I go with the currents of feeling like writing and have not yet gone against the tide of persistently choosing to write as my commitment. But maybe every writer then passed through these stages of disbelief, times when they didn’t feel like writing, and moments when their errors get the most of them. But then if I’ll be asked of one gift that God gave me, writing would be my first thought. And through these series of events and “write” feelings, He may be reminding me that this gift that He gave me is my gift to Him. Passion means commitment. “Persistently decide to write regardless of the “write” feeling. This is a ministry He has entrusted writers,” shouts my soul.
In His hands, this gift will flourish; it will turn out into something I have never asked nor imagine.
