You can't get in the way!

I don't know if it is the world or something God willed at the moment that "keeps getting in the way". Not on "how I feel" for someone, but on my attempts of finally typing my late blog entries.

May 24,2011, Tuesday --- I've attempted to type my "come-back" blog - but not a chance.

May 26,2011, Thursday --- Another 2 in a row blog -- still wasn't able to type it.

May 27,2011, Friday --- Before the Lalaan Outing, I was set to go out of the house, sit inside the internet cafe - amidst whatever noise or silence there could exist and do a 2 or more hours of typing job (4 blogs!) But no, my mother didn't want me out of the house. Monday she said - I could go out on a Monday.

Now May 30,2011

- Lalaan outing had passed [the swimming addict was me, last to get out of the pool, sleep-deprived]

- Haven't attended the joint youth fellowship at main [arrived at about 2pm in our house]

- his birthday had passed  [not even a greeting from me :S]

- Unang Hakbang sa Pasukan - done [harvest of souls!]

   Here at my Kuya Chot's abode - internet surfing is on the house! :D

- Amidst a whole blog being lost after I painstakingly typed it, still, I retyped it and I'm done  with the three other blogs :O 

  What I can truly say is - I'll try my best not to lose the will to write again!

Probably, the piles of research-to-do this coming school year, will give me easier access to blogging (computer shops nearly everywhere and time spells it is a necessity), plus the tons of incoming experiences excite me!

Hopefully, I could blog every day or every other day just as not as long as what I've missed lately.

World, or God-willed hindrances, your attempts of stopping me have fallen short, they all have been in vain. You can't get in the way! Thank God!

TIME TRAVEL

296 – Number of graduates of the Daily Vacation Bible School held at COG Jabez last May 16-21, 2011.

The teachers and volunteers of the DVBS are truly unstoppable for Jesus in advancing His Kingdom.

I have been privileged to work with Teacher Marichu at 10-12 years old. Ate Candy and I agreed that it was one tolerable and manageable age level. I missed the action and bursting energy in a 4-6 years old classroom. But I was grateful to experience teaching the 10-12 years old students. They were so active and were very eager to respond to my questions. I was careful not to treat them as little children by not asking obvious, too easy questions (oh I was so used to it!) and thank God, my Great Teacher helped me do so.

The interaction I had with these students was very unlike my relation with 4-6 years old. Before, I was a mother, older sister, now I was more like a friend. A girl would smile as if we were bffs, the guys would joke about things as if I were of their own age. A certain student (hyper that he is) would always place his elbow on my shoulder and call me “pare”. (Oh I feel like I’m 12 years old too!)

Being with the students made me think of myself when I was at their own age. Timid as usual, so quiet – not willing to participate especially in front of the class (at school is somewhat an exception). I would look at a girl who’s at the corner and say “that would be the inanimate me.”

But having this time travel to my past made me realize that I’ll know how to handle reserved and very shy students, being on their shoes myself. I would understand their need for a longer time to be comfortable in a certain place. And I would help them move out of their shells!

Well, aside from that reflection about the “past me” – I still have 2 time travels – to the future.

(1)    When I look at the students – I get to see who or what some of them might be in the future of the next generation. I see leaders, dancers, teachers, members of the theatre arts, etc. And to some I was burdened when I discerned “confusion”. Yes, at that age I saw rising deception about their gender. With the way they move, make an arts and crafts activity, there were hints of the deception. How in their young age, their environment could make or break them! As early as now, children ought to be shaped to walk in righteousness and holiness. I do hope our prayers and the seeds of faith in their hearts will work God’s wonders.

 

(2)    On my journal I wrote: “A while ago what thrilled me so much was seeing the graduates of the DVBS jump up and down on the stage and even right on their seats while singing “Supernatural God”. To me, it was a glimpse of the future Unstoppable Kick-off Night Non-Stop Party Party! I could imagine them all grown-up, the next generation unstoppable worshippers of God.

Yes, it was time travel to 2020, only their features were all youth-like in the vision!

How thankful and blessed I am to see this event and the wonderful impression of God’s favor to the children.

The church will continue on after our generation. Grasp it in the time travel He can let you envision! 

Blessed Are Those Who Wait

 “The early bird catches the worm” – it has been a cliché, a quote we have gone accustomed hearing and saying. Well it’s quite an irony that an early bird would not immediately catch the worm. For some instance, it could wait the longest for the worm.

Call me excited or what- I actually did not expect to arrive at school before 7am when I told my friends that I’ll be there at about 8:30 am. I left our house at 5:30 excited about riding an aircon bus again, getting to travel to Manila and sit and relax for 2 or more hours. I was also expectant about a heavy traffic causing me to miscalculate the hours of my travel.

Arriving at school with no sight of any previous blockmates around made me uneasy. There were a few early birds in the campus probably like me – finding a companion and trying to figure out the steps for enrolment.

I’ve looked into the schedules posted on one bulletin board and it took me about four looks and some strolling before I finally came to my senses and understood it! (Oh how I wanted to celebrate in so much happiness!)

Good thing, a friend with the same majorship (Ate Claire) finally came and we went to our designated building together.

I was expecting a normal enrolment and going home early in the afternoon since the English majors were scheduled from 8am-12pm.

But things will not always turn out as we expect them to be.

It was past 8am when a professor finally came and spoke as the students were lined up (we were last in line at the moment). She spoke of an announcement that made my heart beat so fast – it made me so nervous and cautiously expectant.

She announced that among all English majors (100 to be exact) there were 21 students chosen to be in the Honors Class.

           They should:

               - not have  deficiency in their grades

               - have an above 80% average

        - be recommended by their English professor during 1^st year (based on performance and attitude)

               -  have an above average result in  their Majorship Examination and interview

 

OKAY. That specifically made my heart nearly leap off my chest.

I was battling the thought of expecting or not expecting to belong to that class.

I wanted to prepare beforehand.

I belong --- thank God.

I don’t --- thank God.

 

The names were called for the registration forms. The blockmate I was with was called along with the ones that later arrived.

Puzzled, there was no sign of “Anicete, Mary Abegail” in the roll call. And it was the third time the names of the reg forms had been read.

The professor then told us, the registration forms of those in the Honors Class were not yet released. And if we’re not yet called – we probably belong to that section.

I could not fully grasp what I heard. I was near to tears because I felt God told me “because you are a favored child of Mine.”

Memories of my struggle and battle before enrolment washed over me.

In my journal I wrote:

“Been worrying about my enrolment on May 17 [Tuition fee :S]

 

My brother, being the bread winner of the family, has been gone for weeks. I’ve been so busy about DVBS and other church activities that I didn’t realize that our enrolment was so fast approaching.

On days like these (a worrywart that I had been) I would be constantly reminding my mother “Nay, malapit na yung enrolment, nasaan si Kuya?”

But things were different now. This time – I kept myself silent. (or God really did) My Great Teacher taught me to consult Him first and foremost for my need, not people. He made me trust Him in quietness.

I share with you what God gave me as His promises that He may remind to you as well:

Philippians 4:19 – “And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus.”

 

Ephesians 3:20 – “And to Him who is able to do immeasurably, more than we ever ask or imagine according to the power at work within us.”

 

Psalm 5:12 – “For you bless the righteous, O Lord, You cover him with favor as with a shield.”

 

Oh how faithful God is!

          - My brother came home on Monday, May 16 (one day before enrolment)

          - God provided my tuition fee

          - God blessed me to be in the Honors Class – more than I asked or imagined!

          - AND OH – He truly covered me with His favor!

          Glory and Highest Thanks to Him!

 

And as I’ve drawn my senses back to reality – the professor told us to get inside the room, and her words were something like this:

 

“I think it’s gonna be a good long wait since you’re in the Honors Class.”

 

It struck me. How the same principle applies to our lives!

 

When God asks us to wait – it is a “good long wait” because we know we are in His Honors Class as His favored children. We are waiting with great expectancy and hope that no matter what is happening at the moment, the END is always good.

 

Things are worth the long wait when we know and believe that what Christ has in store for us is HIS best!

 

When the future is unclear yet His promise is certain, then blessed is he who waits! Blessed are those who wait!

 

7 AM

8

9

10

11 – The professor said our reg forms will be released at 1pm (Oh blessed are those who wait!)

12 NN – No lunch; WAITING

1 PM – “And because you are first, you shall be last” quoted the prof.

              [The early bird waits the longest for the worm] (Oh blessed are those who wait!)

2 – The reg form is still being processed and the professor said it is unclear if it could be released on that day. (Oh blessed are those who wait!) Another favor from God is I met a Christian classmate  named Esther :)

3

3:30 – Lunch time at Mang Inasal :)

4

4:39 PM – The exact time our reg forms were released! Whew! (Oh blessed, blessed relief and joy!)

 

Guess what, the next minutes we were like in the amazing race – running to beat time.

But Oh blessed are those who wait for they shall be able to enroll!

 

I arrived home at about 8:30pm – Looking forward to section II-HC BSE English. :))

Heaven On Earth

Cold Water – How we long for it especially in the melting heat of the now-confused supposed-to-be-only-summer –weather.

As I open our refrigerator, I would more often grab the transparent pitcher and pour water on my glass. Yes, another opaque, beige-colored pitcher is there but I always opt to grab the transparent one – where I see clearly the water it’s containing.

This helped me reflect after attending some sessions in the Worship Camp.

 

11:30 pm after the Unstoppable Worship, Kick-off Night, Non-stop Party Party:

                “Glorious- it was Heaven on Earth, Unstoppable Heaven on Earth! I’ve been singing with angels – with tired hands, shaking knees – all was left for me to do was surrender, no nothing to withhold, nothing to reserve for myself – ALL FOR YOU!

                 That encounter with Christ...

                 At His feet

                 Worshipping Him alone... that makes Him smile

                 Glory, Glory, Glory

                That glorious moment... I wanted to live in that moment. I long for it until now.”

 

I’ve been jumping from the very start of Kick-off Night, I was wild in worship. (probably a little wilder than my students) I just can’t keep from celebrating the freedom I have in Jesus.

Here I am to worship 100 times raised to endless times would spell it. I, we live to worship Him. Every breath, every strength – ‘til the end of it!

Truly “What are these silly matters of the heart” compared to the glory, pleasure we give God in worshipping Him.

 

But the question is: What happens to this “Heaven on Earth” after stepping out of the four corners of the sanctuary, of the Church of God building? How unstoppable are you after the sessions or the camp?

I was not able to attend the last session with Ptr. Anthony Velasco but some of what he has shared was relayed to us by Ate Mai and Kuya Robby.

 

The nine-letter word, INTEGRITY.

                Being the unstoppable worshipper that you are whoever you are with and wherever you may be!

                       That indicates a very serious, heavy responsibility.

 

But how it is related with the cold water and the two pitchers?

                We could be jumping, using all our strength praising Him because that’s what we feel at the moment, that is what the event conditions us to do at that time. We cling on what is visible; we go with it and grab it!

                But being unstoppable is not the clear, transparent pitcher of water you take because it’s what you see, it’s the thing that you feel and will satisfy your thirst at the moment of a Kick-off night.

                It is an opaque, beige-colored pitcher that you choose to take even without the conditioning, extreme emotions or visibility of need at the moment.

 

                It is choosing to keep the Heaven on Earth burning with you even without a Worship Camp!

                A camp, or any session will soon pass, but let not the learning and experiences you got from it pass away too!

 

                Choose to hold fast on it with integrity. Keep that Heaven on Earth on a usual Sunday Worship Service, on a usual fellowship and even on your own personal quiet time.

 

                “For the upright will inhabit the land, and those with integrity will remain in it.” Proverbs 2:21

Napuwing

I am clueless what “Napuwing” is in English. Anybody there who knows its English term? (Please do share it with me) And I was also clueless I was to entitle my “come-back” blog entry with it until what happened on a Tuesday, May 24,2011 (My supposed date for blogging)

                I needed to run an errand for my mother to buy something in a nearby sari-sari store. As I went out of our gate, dusts seem to have been blown directly on my left eye. It was so painful – the worst pain in the whole wide world at the moment. I could not open my eyes!

                I dreaded these moments of discomfort and “Oh Lord, help me” was all that I had to whisper.

                I tried to walk but I stopped every time, letting out a sigh of agony (yes, as if I needed to be hospitalized) I had a lot of stop over before I finally reached the store.

           With one hand on my left eye and my right eye leading the way, I still have managed to buy and return home.

                Immediately as I opened the door, I told my mother, “Nay, napuwing ako,” with that voice of a crying child. I rushed into the C.R., washed my eyes, saw its redness! And – NO RELIEF.

                I entered our room and told my sisters to help me out and they suggested different remedies:

                - blowing my eyes

                - looking afar

                - getting a basin of water and cleansing my eyes with it

                - blinking continuously

                They spelled N-O  R-E-L-I-E-F.

                I lay on my bed trying to open my eyes and I stared at the ceiling. I thought about all that I had to do:

                Write, read, go to a friend’s house, plan for the things I needed to prepare for Sunday School and school. But I was too immobile to do all that because of my eye that hurts.

                My devotion this morning echoed back on my mind:

                “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding...”

                But at the back of my mind, I did wonder why God allowed such thing to happen.

                Well, I realized, He gave me a concrete insight to be able to put into writing my AWOL in my work – blogging.

                The leaves of my second journal notebook for the year 2011 has been all used up and along with it I seemed to have lost the will to write. My last entry dates back May 9, but to me it seemed months and years since I last wrote.

                Napuwing pala ako these past few days, weeks.

                I was too immobile, uninspired to write anything just because of something that bothered a “one part” of me.

                It was petty but I took it as a serious issue (we call it major, major today) – Like a small wound an I demanded for a surgery.

                My mother, on the other hand, in sound wisdom, knew the appropriate counter-attack = prayer.

 

                She prayed for me – it took some waiting, resurrecting of faith, and a little of tears – then came the blessed relief!

 

                Ngayong hindi na ako puwing – my eyes begin to function well. I could see clearly. I am efficient enough to write this one.

                “To live is to write, to write is to live” – I saw it on a T-shirt print. Yes, not to write is my death.

                As a compensation, I’ll write a Back Track of all that I’ve missed to blog:

                - Worship Camp

                - Enrolment

                - DVBS Jabez

                - Recent thoughts

                No, I won’t let a petty pagkapuwing to stop me from my purpose. We need sound wisdom to counter-attack these shallow yet unruly issues and keep running the race.

                    Oh ikaw, napuwing ka din, o baka puwing ka pa?

                

I Am A Student Learning To Be A Teacher

     "It is good to feel tired when you know that your strength has been used by Him who loves you most. For you know that you can do all things through Him who gives you the strength."

      This was a very special message from my Tatay :)

      True enough, for five days, every teacher's, driver's, cook's and participating worker's strength, voices, energy, mind and patience have been used up and stretched during the DVBS at Lalaan last May 2-6,2011. But all that we had to offer was used by Him who loves us the most, Him who sustains us, Him, our Everything.

      A very sweet moment I had with the Lord after Day 2 was when He led me to this verse during my quiet time:

     "You have put more joy in my heart than they have when their grain and wine abound." Psalms 4:7

      I share with you the overflowing joy that I have had.

      Joy from teaching, joy from being with the children God dearly loves, joy with my co-teachers and co-workers, joy from the children's laughter amidst the heat and seemingly chaotic room, joy incomparable with God's presence every moment of the DVBS.

      There was no over time for decoration-making this time. There exist no sleepless nights for drawing, cutting and pasting. The great challenges lay before us during the half day classes.

      I was driven early each morning to plead for God's wisdom, strength, patience and help in teaching the children. One of my greatest fears was to find myself teaching and managing the class by my own strength and knowledge. And so I desired that emptiness, nothingness apart from my Lord.

      And now, I share with you the challenges and experiences of a Head Teacher even a co-teacher. They are far from easy but not near the impossible:

      Teacher in relation with the class - the students:

- The challenge of teaching the Bible Story guided by the Spirit (not by my own strength and knowledge) and careful not to extend beyond the attention span of 4-6 children.

- The challenge of gathering unruly, tame-turned-wild students especially during Day 2.

- The challenge of getting the children's attention, of battling with one voice against the 40 students' combined voices. (Considering my ever soft-spoken nature, I plan to install a microphone inside my vocal chords :O)

- The challenge of making such angels understand the mechanics of a game and drive them to enjoy it.

- The effort of dancing all you can to encourage them to dance as well.

- The challenge of stretching your patience beyond the widest way it has already been stretched.

- The challenge of going on, of keeping on keeping on amidst the drain of energy and the melting heat of the room!

- The challenge of being sensitive to God's leading to the needs of the children in spite of physical exhaustion.

- The challenge of having to gather even a small group of children and help them with the activity sheet when most could not still read nor write.

- The challenge of teaching in the presence of some parents ( a bit nerve-racking)

- The challenge of being an all-around-teacher; a mother to a crying child, maintenance to a spilled lugaw, sopas, champorado and etc., co-artist in decorating the room, overseer inside the classroom, mediator to quarreling children, and the one that I could never forget - nurse to a wounded child.

      During Day 2, the picture of the student with blood in his eyes is still vivid in my memories. You could have seen my about-to-blow-out-into-tears face with the thought that he has been struck by another child with a pencil directly on his eye!  I felt like my heart was crushed and all that I had whispered was the Lord's name while caressing the boy in my arms. But I tell you, God was in control! We found out that there was no wound in his eyes - it was from a wound on his chin, and the blood scattered when he was wiping his eyes. Yes, the Lord protects the children from harm! No plot of the devil shall prevail in God's working in the DVBS.

WARNING: Be careful of flying objects and dragging students inside the classroom. Your weapon against them: love, love, and love.

      Head Teacher to my co-teachers:

- As an overseer to my co-teachers, it was a challenge for me to divide the tasks among them. I knew I needed to be sensitive to their needs and on what they're able to do. ( It felt a bit awkward when I always had to say po and opo since they were all older than me, except one)

- Giving commands is my weakness - I tend to take responsibility by myself but God told me to have an authority and He enabled me to give each member of the team a responsibility of their own.

- Leader = Follower. God taught me to act on what I can do myself but give my co-teachers tasks to do as well.

Our Two Greatest Challenges:

(1) Most of the students do not know their own names! We had a difficulty arranging their activity sheets and finally writing their names on the certificates.

(2) The search for the Most Behave :D (Whew! Didn't know we could find one!) Well, kidding aside, I realized that it's no fluke at all to choose the awardees. It needed painstaking deliberation before we arrived at a decision and thank God we've done it! :) Two thumbs up!

      I am more than grateful for my co-teachers: Teacher Sandy, Teacher Marichu, Teacher Allane, Teacher Candy, Teacher AJ, Teacher Joseph, Teacher Gie - who have been with me some days and most of them the whole time during the DVBS! (Kudos to us! :))

      The Lord gave me a glimpse of what my life will be years from now..... 'till the end - teaching.

      He so widens my heart for the children, the passion in my heart is burning! I am to live the days of my life serving the purpose for which my Great Teacher and Creator intentionally designed me.

      I am a student, learning to be a teacher. And I still have so much to learn and experience! But the thing is, I'm forever His student even if I finally become a teacher by profession. (can't wait O_O)

     [His Next Lesson: 10 - 12 years old Assistant Teacher in Jabez] :O