I Take The Last Seat

Talk about my stuttering and stammering on the first class of my first day in sophomore year.

The task given to us by the professor was to recall a short story, novel or any literary piece from our Philippine Literature lessons in High school / Elementary.

A story, its writer and something about it.

LOADING...

and more

LOADING...

I was rummaging from every corner of my brain anything I could recall and discuss about. "Trust, trust, trust" came battling my thoughts of freaking out.

"Ang Kalupi" written by a writer  named i-forgot-who was the story that popped out of my mind when "Abegail" was finally called.

This was harder than a usual getting-to-know introduction on a first day class. The pressure was greater having the presence of "Honors Class" students around and a very intelligent professor awaiting my answer.

The next minutes were uhm, uh, uhm, uh.

Though words came out of my mouth, to me, my point was unclear. I didn't hit the bull's eye. 

My confidence was slowly being drained.

Probably, when my concern was about what I'll say and how I'll say, it made me more like a chaff blown by the wind. Whereas, thinking about something to share to encourage, enlighten and glorify my Lord could alone have made me that "tree planted by the streams of water, whose leaves does not wither, whatever it does prospers".

Oh, "Whatever you do, work heartily as working for the Lord and not for men."

Nonetheless, I sat there listening to the answers of my classmates. 

Great intonation, fluent speech, minimal speech mannerisms, sensible, critical, bull's eye thoughts - how could I not keep my mouth shut and listen?

The bad news was I dreaded the aura of competing inside the class.

The good news was our Personality Education 3 lightened up the rising tension.

We formed a circle as a group and I heard one of my classmate say something like this: (as the professor required each of us to speak)

"I don't' want a competition inside the class. If there would be any, I want it within myself."

Competition within ourselves - that would best improve us. It was a relief to hear it from her then finally each classmate of mine reaffirming it. :]

Another good news is that they desire we help "improve and surpass our strengths and weaknesses together." (as iron sharpens iron :)

My classmates are probably far abler speakers, brighter students and more skilled writers than I am.

I take the last seat. The lowest place at the wedding banquet.

It stirs inside me - the great expectancy to all the rooms of improvement I have and will still have, the lessons my Great Teacher will deal with me and the more humbling experiences emphasizing my self-bankruptcy and complete nothingness.

There will never be no growth without tension. 

And now, tension should excite and let us move at our best after all.

I take the last seat now. The lowest place at the wedding banquet today.

But shouldn't this excite me more:  I get to be with the Best English Teachers in the Future - Among Batch 2014! (I sure dream to call myself one someday, by God's grace!)  :]]