To my future students,
I missed writing to all of you. Though I
did it only once through blog and a couple of times for a project in one of my
major subjects, it remains my desire to keep you in touch with what is
happening to me as a student at present and as your English teacher in the
future.
I hope you too are thrilled with the
surprises that every new year has in store for us. This 2013, I know you may
have a lot of plans, a lot of expectations for a great year ahead. It isn't
wrong to make it a goal to have your new year's resolutions and promises
fulfilled as early as the 20th page or first 3 weeks of our 2013 journey. Of
course, success is what we aim for. However, my dear students, that is not
always the case. As early as the start of the new year, success could be
seemingly out of our reach.
I called my first week in school "a
real tough week" wherein everyday never ran out of to-do's. But that's not
the only thing that made it tough, because tougher than my raging school works
was my raging heart. The battle within my heart was against a painful part of
my past. These are moments when something you have out-rightly disowned
and left behind starts shouting at you and demanding your attention. You may
even wonder why you are disturbed and affected by its screams when you
think that you have long forgotten it. And in reality my students, it could not
end there. You too can crawl back, drawn to this past and give it the attention
it demands. It is when you start moving backwards instead of moving forward.
To speak to you in a manner clearer to
your understanding, moving backwards could mean cheating again when you
promised you'll never do it again, hurting people when you asked forgiveness
and told them you'll not hurt them again. Simply put, it is doing AGAIN the
wrong things you've done in your past. And that is the very thing that
happened to me my dear students. My year began with this struggle and I nearly
lost the battle.
My battle with that was not yet over when
another army of trial attacked me. My dear students, in my desire to be able to
be a better, more knowledgeable and expert teacher for all of you, I aspired
the Global Undergraduate Exchange Program. This is something you can read in my
past entries. The result of whether or not I passed the interview was released
this week. And the outcome was both good news and bad news. The good news is,
I'll be teaching you sooner since I'll not graduate late, but the bad news is,
I felt sad for myself and for our department. Every year, the English
department has a representative accepted for the Global Ugrad. This time, they
do not have one.
My dear students, could you feel the
weight your English teacher felt for being so distant from success as early as
January? I fret that you too might experience this and would not know what to
do and how to respond to it. I would like to share within this letter I have
for you, a letter God gave me (during one of my devotions, I asked Him to speak
to me as I scribble whatever he led me to write in my journal). I already
posted this but then, parts of this specific message can be altered to suit the
painful, incomprehensible moments in your life that makes you think success and
hope is too far.
"What happened to you is
not something I planned to make you see how little you are--- a moment I
planned to make you feel discouraged, worthless and a mess. I was in control
even if you weren't. For every single thing that happened in the process--- be
it fun, stressful, inspiring, saddening, I am Lord of it. Something beyond your
understanding is what I'm doing in your life. And all you should hold on now is
that very situation that cannot be understood by your mind, that could not be
accepted and faced by your heart--- is something I willed--- the BEST I have
for you regardless of how painful or unpleasant it is at the moment."
If
you experience failure or even feel like a failure as early as the first month or
any week, day, hour and second of this year, remember, He is LORD of every
single event. He is Lord of pleasant and unpleasant situations and He has a
purpose for everything that happens in your life. Put in mind and trust that He
truly has “plans to prosper you and not
to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jer. 29:11) And this
does not depend on the situation--- whether it looks good or bad to you. All
good and bad: He turns them for your good.
Hoping
the letter within the letter helped you,
Your Future English Teacher
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