Out of the abundance of bliss :D

I was drowned in sadness this morning.
But you know what, tonight, I say:
"World, you give me a number of reasons to be sad, but HE gives me countless reasons to smile." =)

Yes, the above is my current status. I just want to pour out what joy that cannot be explained has God placed in my heart, replacing the overwhelming sorrows of the morning.

Right here, right now, I want to simply reiterate the simplest sources of joy that can be available to anyone.

(1) A talk with Ate Ayna, a dorm mate of mine. Do you ever wonder how the simplest of conversation with others makes you feel so light and better?

(2) Is the lady guard at the PNU Gate. Did you know that when she greeted me that morning, I smiled? Think about the thousands of students in PNU. The thousands who walked in towards that gate! How many times do you think has she spoken good morning? Do the math :)

(3) BOO!   

Her picture in our discussant's report made me smile so big! My picture won't make you smile, but hers would give you every reason to! Cuuuute! :)

(4) Cheering Mami Ericka up and being with HC uplifted my spirit. :)

(5) Attending TUP LAYF (Youth Fellowship) a while ago strengthened me, gave me time to laugh and the very moment God told me my very status.

The theme a while ago was "Hungry birds need the Biggest Lover" 

Cool, right? :)

I get to meet other Christians, play a youth fellowship game and my passion rekindled while seeing new baby Christians. During prayer time I interceded for each of our spiritual growth, that God bless each youth inside the gym and that we all might know Him more. 

I am amazed at the works of His hands. :)

(6) And just moments ago, I met my high school friends at SM - San Marcelino St. and Pelita, the birthday celebrant yesterday, a lady now (18th b-day!) treated Joy and me at MCdo, at the real SM Mall. =)

Haha. You also want that Hot fudge sundae, don't you? :))

So we spent the hours eating again and guess what, I was cracking jokes mostly the whole time! Well, that made me a whole lot better :)

(7) Lastly, I know Daddy inside me is the reason for my joy. 

"The fear of the Lord leads to life, and whoever has it rests satisfied;" Proverbs 19:23 (His love letter this morning :)

I'll end this outpour of my heart with this anecdote or I'm not sure how to categorize it.. a blabber?:

It was my first time to enter TUP a while ago, then as we were walking, a male student's voice resounded in my ears:

Kuya: Ay, pike si ate oh.

Well, sino pa ba ang pike noong oras na iyon kundi ako. Haha.

Ako: Ano sisther, ipapako ko na ba yun sa krus? :D

But my thought about it was: "Lord, gusto kong ipako yung kuyang yun ah, haha, pero diba pinako ka na para sa mga kasalanan ko, tsaka sa mga kasalanan ng kung sino mang kuyang yun?"

Then, I forgave him.

Now, I'll end this and go back to the dorm.

Smile dear reader (kahit may pagkacorny ako :D) =)

Pelita will accompany me back to the dorm, and I'll give her my gift with the blue, cute wrapper! :)

Good Night. :D 

P.S.

Count the smiling faces I've typed and multiply it by a thousand.

That's how happy I am. :DDDD

Abnormality

Yesterday occurred a morning when I didn’t need to wake up for I didn’t sleep after all. I could not call a nap that I had - a rest for I consider it mere bowing of my head over my arms and simply closing of my eyes.

                Early that morning it was both weird and uncomfortable that I found myself wearing shirt and shorts in a very formal place --- school. I literally made it my second home. But I was not alone. Mami Ericka, Sisther Esther and Debbie were amongst the 2^nd year students of HC that were sleep-deprived, battling for consciousness with me.

                This was not because of school projects, assignments or reviews for exam. This was all about ACCREDITATION.

                These past few days, weeks, we were helping the faculty of the English Department in their binding, organizing of files and other paper and computer works.

                Abnormality was the setting of mostly everything.

                These are days when…

-          Formal classes were scarce, barely existing

-          I seem to not know how to study anymore

-          I had an experience of seemingly not having time to use spoon and fork. I’ve forsaken our staple food once by eating burger for brunch, snack and dinner.

-          Eating needed to be on your to-do-list lest you completely forget about hunger

-          We were “rubbing elbows” with our professors like we were colleagues aimed at a unified objective. Talking to them became more comfortable and more often.

-          We were at school mostly from 8am to 8pm.

 

Lastly, the most unusual is that we had an overnight at school, yes at Philippine Normal University.

 

                That Monday night was vivid and unforgettable.

                Other students were there, running the race with us, binding, cutting papers, typing, printing, waking themselves up, listening to instructions and doing so, running errands and sometimes trying to simply stare and hope with a magic wand, everything was done.

                There were times my eyes would close, severely lured by drowsiness. Somehow, sleep had its fleeting victory, I was a couple of minutes overtaken by the temptation to really let it take over but work, work, work was keeping me victoriously alive, alert, awake, but not as much enthusiastic.

                The professors were so driven to finish what they had to do, I look at them and I feel like their whole world revolved around their work. All eyes, all ears, all attention to the computer screen, to the file, no, there was no idle time, could they have even breathed? They were all out with their work.

                Some of them found their way to beds, sofa – the object of temptation and satisfaction for everyone.

                But you find them alive, kicking, dressed up the next morning, ready for accreditation. No trace of the hectic, stressful yesterday or should I say dawn.  They were geared up for battle.

                How would I like to spend my life working and sleeping in the faculty, very much similar to them? I wonder…

                But what felt so badly abnormal - is I was losing battle – spiritually. It’s not normal I skip my devotions = (.

                Monday, the whole day, I had no quiet time especially during our overnight at school.

                I was drained in my physical, mental, emotional, and especially spiritual realm.

                This is the one abnormality I dread the most.

                But, rejoice! God took me back in His arms last Tuesday night.

                He never fails to be faithful.

                “Dear All: Today, we saw how our hard work paid off! We succeeded and we need not wait for accreditation results. We succeeded because we did our darnest and because we all worked as a team, nothing can beat that! Tonight, we rest. Sleep tight everyone, thank you all.” -From Professor Alido, our English Department Head

                Gone will be these days of abnormality, for accreditation ends within this week.

                But I pray, gone will be this skipping of devotions as well…

                “All the paths of the Lord are steadfast love and faithfulness…” (Psalm 25:10)

                “You’re faithful to love me, protect me, pour out Your grace and mercy in every undeserving moment in my life.” Me - - to Daddy.

                Hello – Normal school days <3.

 

 

THE FIGURES aren’t paramount

Waiting is a task wherein you do nothing, but ironically, it is one that is most tiring. Staring in oblivion for hours, waiting for a bus that will never seem to arrive--- it is a picture that’ll perfectly fit my “Most Dreaded Times Album”. I thought, probably, the very thing that makes it intolerable is the fact that you do nothing but wait. I wish I could use my phone and text then--- but I had no load, read --- but it was too dark, write--- but it was so absurd to write on the street. So the minutes, hours, dragged on in mere waiting.

                It was interesting on the other hand that I realized --- I missed this very “dreaded time”. It was my routine last school year – racing with passengers on a Friday which I don’t do especially these school days except last night.

                The loss of things we’ve grown accustomed to could sometimes make us ‘homesick’ about them. Then, I’m sure I have a lot to miss about our 1^st quarter that had just ended last August 11, 2011.

                First, I’ll be homesick of our 4 HOURS BREAK (M, T, and F). Usually, it’s our time to eat at either of the SMs – San Marcelino Karinderyas or SM Mall. It also had been my Office Warehouse or National Bookstore Time for my “repressed obsessions” with school supplies. And typical of students, it’s our time for supposed-to-be reviewing turned into chit-chat mode/ sleeping sessions in the library.

                Secondly, and most importantly, I’ll miss our two subjects: Foundations of Education and Child & Adolescent Learning.

                I’ll miss the ever-generous sharing of thoughts and insights in Ma’am Calapardo’s 4-5:30 pm class. (A professor that reminds me of our T.L.E Teacher in high school)

                And our last but equally racing class for generosity of sharing knowledge and ideas: Dr. Joven’s class. Though some buffering occurs in his class . . . . . . . his gentlest approach to students somehow outweighs it. In case you haven’t met him and of you’ll never meet him, you’ll be losing the chance to meet the KINDEST professor in the whole wide world of PNU. (Ask my classmates.)

                Aside from these things to be missed, God asked me to leave some things behind in the experimental first quarter that had just ended.

                Particularly, they have something to do with “THE Figures”.

                One instance, you may feel like throwing off a feast when you had the “highest score” in an exam. High grades, good grades --- they’re wonderful. But they’re not everything. One thing, don’t let them get into your head and another; don’t get boxed within these figures.

                They’re not the most significant thing in this world.  And there are also three things that these figures won’t mean:

                (1) You fulfilled your purpose in life with high grades.

                (2) You have truly learned and gained good study habits.

                (3) You have been productive.

                The things that God asked me to leave have something to do with these three:

                Focus, Balance, Feasibility – interchange the first letters for mnemonics: BFF. :D

                The sad thing is, we can become so focused about studies that our minds merely revolve around finishing this and that, reviewing this and that. God was making me realize - - - HE is the main topic of life and studies is a subtitle. Don’t interchange it.

                I am moved by the reminder that I may be using Him as a means to an end - - - praying for Him to enable me to finish my to-do-lists and never really have time to listen to His agenda for me.

                “Martha, Martha, you are so anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:41

                I could hear God saying “Abbie, Abbie, you are so anxious and troubled about many things…” and the very same thing He told Martha. And what was Mary doing you may ask:

                Mary was listening to Jesus. (v.39)

                I was being asked by God to have a clear cut FOCUS. My purpose? Love God, love people. (Luke 10:27) It only means I won’t be too busy studying that I have no time to help others.

                 Second is our God of Order asking me to leave my idle, slothful way of spending time during our break. You have read about the sneak peek of my used-to-be 4 HOURS break right? This second quarter, we’ll have one hour and thirty minutes break --- God wants me to optimize using it. You see, God isn’t merely concerned about things being in order. In Ecclesiastes 3, He desires we have a BALANCE for the distribution of our precious time. It’s because He knows our very tendencies to procrastination, laziness and cramming! When He desires balance, He desires us to have enough time for both rest and work. Delaying work has never done any good to any person that ever existed in this world ---- it was delaying gratification that always had!

                Lastly, is regarding FEASIBILITY. It is through our Prof Ed 1 Class (Foundations of Education) that I have come to realize, I’m very much of an idealistic person. I see myself tackling my whole life at once, planning to finish ALL that I had to do overnight. My to-do-lists never came to a completion. What I’m planning is always too idealistic. CONCRETE, FEASIBLE, ATTAINABLE plans, God tells me. I need to leave my unrealistic plans behind. Romans 12:2 and Philippians 4:8 are the two verses I’ll hold on to this.

                BALANCE, FOCUS, FEASIBILITY - my “BFF” for the Second quarter.

                The thing is ---- “THE Figures” aren’t paramount.