AWOAVaR
It has been part of my every school year: being absent because of my emotional sickness.
It’s a day when I feel too defeated to set myself into battle in school.
A day when negative emotions get the most of me and eat me up leaving me stuck in the dorm/house unable to attend classes.
July 20, 2012 was just NOT THE BEST DAY to be Absent Without A Valid Reason (AWOAVaR).
Grace Sooo Undeserved
The study table and chair below are newly bought. And the camera with which I used to capture it is a new cellphone. (guess the phone can’t be vain enough to take a picture of itself~)
Those are superficial factors as to why I considered Friday as the worst day not to go to school. (Any day could be worse but that day was the worst possible)
How it was bought and brought there, even the person who bought, brought and gave me all these, were the important, weighty factors why I was so regretful to miss our classes.
As I pour it out in a text message sent to my sisther (Sister Esther):
“Sisther <///3 naiiyak na ako T.T. Dito kami ngayon sa SM ni Tatay. Binili ninya ko ng table, upuan, binigyan ninya ko ng bagong phone, kakain kami ngayon TAPOS HINDI AKO PUMASOK KANINA.”
My heartbreak did not end there. My 63-year-old father came from Tarlac, bought several things in 168, carried the very heavy pile to meet me in SM Manila. Then, the equally heavy table we bought, he carried too, and I heard him gasping for breath when we were heading to the exit door of the mall.
My heart was tearing apart but I couldn’t show it. All that I was able to offer was my concern through asking him “Kaya ninyo pa po ba?” And my obviously struggling father will say with a smile: “Oo naman.”
Because of the flood, and the bulk of the things we have with us, we needed to ride a tricycle. (“Motor” [stress on the second syllable] was just the term they used there)
And when we’re about to ride, he kept on telling the driver “Oh ilapit mo pa yung motor mo, yung anak ko sasakay.”
My heart was already shattered when we were inside the dorm. My father bought the heavy table up until the 3rd floor, considering that what we passed through was a very steep stairway!
A river of tears won’t be enough
Tatay helped me fix up the table and chair, then he prayed for me and our dorm.
It was past 8:30 pm when he left and he will be travelling for more or less two hours going to Tarlac. And again he is my 63-year-old father.
When he left, I knelt down and started crying. I cried so much. I cried hard.
I was a “pasaway” student considered by Him worthy of feeling special, loved and comforted.
It relived the feeling when I first surrendered my life to a God who loved me though I am a sinner!
The Lord made me feel His unconditional love so much, and in a more concrete way!
A river of tears won’t be enough to express my gratitude to God for the grace He flooded me with through my father in the flesh that night.
A river of tears won’t be enough to quiet my shouting soul to declare that His grace and mercy are indeed unceasing!
It's okay, Abbie. We all go through those days when we do things we're not supposed to do and we feel like we should be punished or something but the great opposite happens. And that's the power of grace. It shows us our wrong and fuels us with a new energy and determination to do right next time. ;)
ReplyDeleteBut seriousness aside, okay lang mag-absent without any valid reason once in a sem. Haha.
Ay nakooo! We really should see each other na. Hahaha.
Wow, thanks ate for that counseling sa unang part. And natawa ko sa seriousness aside. Hahaha :)) Kailan na po tayo magmeet ate? Muhkang ako naman yata ang super busy ngayon. Or lagi rin po kayong busy?!? Hehehe.
ReplyDeleteSuper busy rin. Haha. Nakooo. Attend ka ba nung Unlimited Praise sa Anniv Week? Yung overnight prayer and fasting?
ReplyDeleteHoliday ba yun ate? Hindi po ako pwede pag hindi holiday kasi may pasok. Hehe. Youth empowered po makakapanood ata ako :)
ReplyDelete