MUCH THAT I’VE MISSED

                 If there’s one thing that I’ve missed so badly and long so much for – it is you, writing.

                I feel like a novice learning to write again. I couldn’t help but fuss about the NOTEWORTHY events I’ve missed to blog about. It is weird that days, weeks seemed to be months and years that I’ve not written. =(

                Well, I’d love to squeeze them all here in a fast-phase manner and in much brevity lest I make a novel out of the rushing ideas I have in mind.

The Aftershock of the Haircut

                My daily entrance in the school campus has never been as nerve-racking as it was during the first day of classes. June 21, Tuesday, was an exception. Aside from the unusual feeling of absence of hair or the surprise of not needing to comb my hair until my shoulders (I don’t even need a comb), my hair cut made me hesitant and nervous to enter our school gate.

                It was a blast: random comments from different people and to think- more are still to follow since I have not seen my S.I.S family yet.

                The randomness:

                “Bagay sa’yo, Di bagay sa’yo, Sayang ang buhok mo, Hala!, Di kita nakilala, Andy of Coffee Prince, Katie Holmes of i-don’t-have-a-clue-about, Jamie of Secret Garden, Handsome, Pogi, Bieber, Boyfriend” and several more I could not all reiterate.

2 Specific Comments made me curious:

One: I look more matured.

Two: I look more like a teacher.

Pretty weird, aren’t they?

And the generalization I made is this:

Friends/ people who have seen me for so long with a long hair hardly accepted my new haircut and a number of them had the violent of the most violent of all reactions. (They’re braver to tell me the truth huh?) :D

But the real aftershock of my hair cut is God telling me at the end of the day:

                “Daughter, in whose eyes are you trying to be great or beautiful after all?”

People have different comments and reactions regarding our actions and behavior but whose opinion matter most to us? People or God’s?

The Aftershock of FALCON

                Because of Falcon, I was no longer an ignorant or newbie in terms of walking in flooded streets especially that of San Marcelino and along our school. I assumed such things will only exist in the news or on the television screen and never on the realm of my reality and personal experience. But it was, an unlikely, unforgettable adventure for me J.

                The storm was really fierce. It was relentless. It stopped me from going home that Thursday night, June 23. I desired to make an article about my complete experience about it but I failed to do so. So here was the aftershock learning that God reminded me:

Eyes off self: When you are overwhelmed by your own emotions and difficulty, have time to pause and reflect that others might be experiencing something worse! Never be too self-absorbed that you forget to offer a helping hand. There were many Filipino people who were badly affected by the storm- and time wasted in complaining should be used in praying for them.

Acculturation

                This is our report in our ESL (English as a Second Language), I have nothing to do but smile at the thought that this topic somehow made me WAKE UP from the deep slumber I was having.

                Why was I unable to write? It’s because of the 2^nd stage of Acculturation – culture shock. Past the “excitement or euphoria” over the newness of 2^nd year life, lately I’ve been in “culture stress”.

                Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday – I am required to be at school. I stay 6 days in the dormitory. These spell NOSTALGIA (my recent status) and STRESS – the battle I’m going through (which I was not much vocal about). I couldn’t find time to write, to rest and relax. I ought to keep running…

                The sad part is I was really down and though I was not uttering complains, I was feeling them, deep inside me. The plus factor with the weight of my burden is the training in Debate Society every Wednesday afternoon and Saturday, whole day.

Talk about “breaking me to make me” – breaking my fears, shyness, emotional weakness and building a brave, confident and strong me. I’d probably write more about these debate experiences but this is something I’ve created at the intensity of my emotions right then:

“When I look at the heaviness of the challenge at hand, I get to feel the nerves and the pressure. On the other hand, as I look at the better, abler me, after going through it, I can’t help but to be excited and inspired.”

The promise I was left to hold on these past weeks is: “But because of God’s love we are not consumed.”

I’m on a space shuttle ride (the ‘deadliest ride’ I coined) that I can never postpone or stop. I need to go through it. But I was not consumed and I will never be because God loves me, so much. And that is the only thing constant at this very point of my life.